The Starving Artist Goes to the Hardware Store

It's common knowledge to anyone in the artsy-fartsy-crafty world that Home Depot and Lowe's has a scrap wood pile that's a conglomeration of of pieces of wood with minute imperfections, or pieces with slight knicks, or pieces that people had cut and then changed their mind for one reason or another.  The store can't sell these pieces, at least not at full price, and the flawed pieces usually sit in a pile until it becomes a fire hazard and then gets thrown into the garbage to rot... unless of course, some creative, desperate individual teetering on the edge of Ramen being the only thing on their grocery list decides to come in and rescue it from the dumpster.

Enter Me.

I go into Home Depot, in a dress, at that, which is always a huge mistake/the easiest way to instantly feel better about your appearance, in search of scrap wood.  The first associate I see tells me that it's up to the owner of each individual store if they're going to give away scrap wood.  I say ok, and saddened by my sudden lack of cheap canvasses, turn to leave.  I get up to the front of the store and as I pass the Customer Service desk, I see a sign advertising for credit cards for Home Depot.  And it hit me.  I could not recall one franchise that I was aware of that had credit cards; they were corporate and there was no owner.

I ask someone else.  Anne has a much better answer for me.  "Yes, we have wood." And not only an answer, but she also takes me to the pile and let's me pick through it.  Not only that, but she also takes me to Nick who says, "Oh, we have more." And then he let's me pick through that pile, too!  As I'm doing this, I suddenly realize that it's getting late, and that I'm in a short pink and grey dress, which is a far cry from my all black outfit that I have to wear to work, and I have to run home and change, then get back on the highway and battle urban sprawl just to get to said place of employment.  If I stay and buy this now, I'm going to be late for work.  Not gonna happen.

I apologize profusely to Nick an thank him excessively for his kindness and explain that I have to leave, but I can come back and pay for it in the morning.  He said he likes art, so he'll hold it at his desk.  I got sick, and couldn't come back to Home Depot for 3 days.  I was terrified that Nick thought I was full of it and had let my precious finds go to the dumpster.  But low and behold, 3 days later when I show up, sure enough there is Nick, my treasures and all, tucked safely away in between a display of front doors.  He rang me up.  It only cost me $3.15!  

Oh, happy day for the Ramen-fearing artist.  I'm going home to eat a turkey sandwich with hummus, red onions, dijon mustard and spinach leaves on whole wheat bread.

(and yes, those will all be Giant brand...)