Story time..... get out your carpet squares.
So, there's this nutzoid time that takes place in the heart of Washington, DC every four years called the Presidential Inauguration. I did what any sane (and hindsight is 20/20, now regretful) American would do and slept straight through it. I did so because I had been in the city the night before up until about 4:00 the morning of the Inauguration and since I had been awake for just over 2o hours I thought to myself, "Self, Obama isn't going anywhere for at least four years (hopefully eight!), so just catch it on the radio when you wake up and that'll be it."
But, the night before, I found myself at a coffee shop called SoHo at the corner of 22 and P St at about 1:30 am or so (Jan 20th), sipping on a much larger cup of coffee than I should have been drinking at about 1:30 am. (Again, hindsight is 20/20, boys and girls.) Well, my coffee was deliciously caffeinated, and as I sat there thinking about how wonderful it is to have such a great coffee shop open so late in the heart of the beautiful LGBT community, and how fantastic it was that I was able to find a parking space only 3 1/2 blocks away when 99% of the parking in the city was off limits to everyone and their mom unless they drove an emergency vehicle, and how thankful I was that there were Army Officers, some alone, some in groups up to 4 on a majority of the city's street corners making sure that everything was safe at home (and abroad. Thanks, Dad!), and how this not so cute boy was staring at me from sort of behind me and it was flattering in a creepy way but doesn't matter, because I kind of really like this guy right now, (longest run-on sentence ever), suddenly the inevitable happened. I had to pee.
I got up, ordered four hot chocolates that I planned to shortly distribute to 4 freezing soldiers, and asked for the bathroom key sitting on the counter. The cashier handed it to me, and I walked to the bathroom and unlocked the door. As I opened it, I realized the light was on. Just as I was about to get irritated for people being energy inefficient, I looked up and saw a camouflaged, neon vest wearing, shocked and for all intents and purposes, urinating soldier standing over the toilet trying to shield his man bits from my view, and the view of the entire table of no less than 6-8 people behind me. I think I made an awkward sort of noise and yelled something that might have sounded like "sorry!" as I slammed the door and turned and clapped my hand over my mouth, only to have said table of 6-8 people looking at me and smiling, smirking, laughing or looking down or any combination of them all. One of the men at the table said to me, gently, but with disciplinary undertones, "That's why you knock," to which I quickly and exasperatedly responded with, "That's why you take the key inside with you!" I was quite proud of that statement, because I almost always think of the perfect response to a remark like that..... 2o minutes after the fact. Nonetheless, I think I was just as mortified as the soldier, who probably didn't want to exit the bathroom and more than I wanted him to.
A woman at the far end of the table rose from her chair with her coffee and said with an, I dare say, loving smile, "Oh, come on now, it's nothing she hasn't seen before," walked over to me and asked me if I had to go to the bathroom. I tried to hide my embarrassed smile, told her yes, and she walked to the counter, took another key that was out of sight, and led me down a hall saying, "Here, sweetie. No one ever uses this one. It's in with the mop sink, but it's clean and this way you won't have to see him when he comes out." I could have kissed her! I thanked her, went to the bathroom, washed up and went to collect my hot chocolate.
On my way out, I thanked her again, and as I looked at her, I suddenly realized that she was one of the owners that I had been meaning to come in and speak with about my artwork. I asked her if she was one of the owners, and she said yes and introduced herself to me as Helene. The conversation that followed was heaven.
1. Yes, dear, of course you can put your art work up! We'd love to have your pieces here! We love to support local artists!
2. Well, normally we charge for wall space, but the pieces we have up right now may become permanent pieces for the shop, but you can use the ceiling space and I won't charge you a dime. You can also have this little sliver of wall space, and I won't charge for that since it's so small. And if we end up selling those other pieces than I would only charge you to repair any holes you make in the wall.
3. Yes, please bring in some sketches and some designs, we'd love to see what your ideas are! We've been wanting to fill this window space for a long time with something! Your light sculptures sound like they could work! Bring one in and we'll test it out!
4. All you have to do is advertise that your work is here and we'll put up a little something about you up by the front and we can sell your pieces, no problem. Here are three local papers that let artists advertise for free.
Oh my goodness, this night just got better and better... a promise to hang artwork in a popular DC coffee shop open almost 24 hours a day and a new president who makes it feasible for me to return to school! It was like Christmas!
So, boys and girls, you can go put away your carpet squares, but stay tuned for the artistic process. I'm making lanterns!
Thank you, Helene! You're a sweetheart! And sorry to the soldier. I promise, I didn't see anything! (Not a slam on you, I'm sure your man bits are lovely, but I know you are all trained to move quick like bunnies, so good for you! I don't think anyone else saw anything, either. You wanna buy a lantern?)
